Shopkeeper lady: Good day, adventurer. What brings you to my store today?
Knight: Ah you know, the usual. Just a bunch of stuff I want to pawn off.
*shopkeeper's eye twitches noticeably*
Shopkeeper lady: Well then... Let's see what amazing valueables you've brough today.
*the knight begins to pull things from his seemingly bottomless bag, one by one*
Knight: Some dull swords.
Shopkeeper lady: Uh-huh.
Knight: Holey helmets.
Shopkeeper lady: Yep...
Knight: Figurines of a sheep and a chicken.
Shopkeeper lady: That's, like, bottom rarity. No collector value at all.
Knight: Some gems.
Shopkeeper lady: Nice.
Knight: Animal pelts.
Shopkeeper lady: That doesn't look like any animal I know...
Knight: Low-level bandit armor.
Shopkeeper lady: They didn't piss themselves while you slaughtered them, did they?
Knight: Funny-smelling potion.
Shopkeeper lady: 'kay.
Knight: Magic laxative.
Shopkeeper lady: Handy.
Knight: Spoon.
Shopkeeper lady: Right.
Knight: A bunch of Astral Light arrows.
Shopkeeper lady: You sure you wouldn't want to keep those?
Knight: Can't use 'em, class restrictions... This lil' slime.
Shopkeeper lady: Oh god, not again...
Knight: Box of condoms.
Shopkeeper lady: ...
Knight: Bunch of goblin clubs.
Shopkeeper lady: Because my store doesn't reek of goblin shit as it is...
Knight: This... I think this is also a goblin club, but seems a bit too soft?
*shopkeeper looks at the phallic "club" with a mixture of horror and curiosity on her face*
Knight: Potato.
Shopkeeper lady: Whatever...
Knight: Invisibility potion made of marinaded octopus penises.
Shopkeeper lady: Those literally don't exist, but okay.
Knight: Ritual dagger used to sacrifice orphans for heretical rituals.
Shopkeeper lady: Oh, those sell like cupcakes.
Knight: Transferrable fully automatic M60 machine gun.
Shopkeeper lady: Where did you even find it?
Knight: Holy Grail of Everlasting Freshness.
Shopkeeper lady: As if I don't have a whole storeroom full of these things...
Knight: Legendary Angelus Bow of Heavenly Awesomeness.
Shopkeeper lady: I'm literally never gonna be able to sell it.
Knight: Necromancer Skull of Ahnguz-Farghal, the Soul Muncher.
Shopkeeper lady: Not another dark, abhorrant relic! The taxes on those are outrageos!
Knight: Right, that about does it for the selling.
Shopkeeper lady: Thank god... Are you going to buy anything?
Knight: Yeah, all of your health potions, please.
Shopkeeper lady: You literally carry a wagon worth of those.
Knight: A few more can't hurt.
Shopkeeper lady: Okay, as long as you actually paying... Anything else?
Knight: That pretty ring you have there.
Shopkeeper lady: Oh, that? That's just a wedding band, not a magic accesorry.
Knight: I know.
Shopkeeper lady: O-oh? Finally rescued a princess, have you?
Knight: Uh-huh. Would you marry me?
Shopkeeper lady: Hahah... Wait, what?
Knight: What part of "Would you marry me" you don't understand?
Shopkeeper lady: Wait, you're serious?!
Knight: Yes.
Shopkeeper lady: W-Well... I didn't know you had such feelings. I think... I could...
Knight: Great. 'Cause I'm about to fight this high-level monster that does increased damage to bachelors. Thought I would deprive him of that advantage.
Shopkeeper lady: Get the fuck out of my store.

Vendors in fantasy RPGs have to put up with a lot, having to buy shitty gear from dead-beat adventurers and run shops in utter disregard for the laws of economics... At least he didn't rob her blind and have the audacity to then try and sell her her own stolen goods.

Sometimes you need to torture yourself and your PC by cramming as many individual models into a scene as possible. Yes, everything you see on the counter is it's own model. This is the reason as to why I don't make pictures with massive amounts of small details - I fucking can't.


コメント数 2

Kek, that finish :^)

Shopkeeper lady will put up with a lot, but not with this.